Sunshine Spray

Dear Procrastinators and "Night-Before-Essay-Artists",

Monday just happens to be the perfect day to avoid all forms of work.

The air is frigid, my head is heavy with sleep and thoughts of endless to-do lists. It's February, a month supposedly filled with romance and mutual warmth, but which is more so marked by report cards and diploma results. Truly, I should be working on my sentence structure and balancing chemistry equations. The two subjects seem to be combining though, as asyndeton sounds like a molecular structure ("the omission of conjunctions that ordinarily join coordinate words and phrases" source: Terms for Advanced Placement English Exams), and the rules regarding the combination of pure elements resembles those surrounding syntax.

If you've managed to read those last sentences without yawning, your energy should be bottled and distributed among the general public. What an idea! We could call it "Sunshine Spray", a product that increases serotonin levels in the brain therefore better mood. It could be used like hair spray, absorbing into the hair follicles straight to the scalp and into the cranium. Because it would be a hormone, it'd have to go to the medulla before being distributed throughout the body.

Can you tell I'm tired?


Hope you find your own "Sunshine" today,

arctic hipster

Breakfast Dance Party

Dear Dancing Manics,

This morning Student Council helped wake up a bunch of stressed out teenagers.

For the last couple years the council has been serving cereal, fruit and yogurt during exam week to "feed young brains". The program is pretty successful considering the majority of high school aged students have a tendency to sleep in, rushing to school without having eaten breakfast. Not only does skipping a meal slow brain function, it also can drastically affect mood. High School students' bodies are already running rampant with hormones that cause them to lose concentration on normal lessons, not to mention we have the attention spans of nats. However, we still become engulfed by various education experiences, although not academic. For example "How To Text While Having Eyes Remain on the Board", "The Effects of Red Bull and Monday Mornings" and my personal favorite, "How to conjure the Correct Answer When a Teacher Singles You Out for Clearly Being Stuck in La la Land". From a teacher stand point, the odds are already stacked against students when it comes to school and a lack of food only worsens the situation. 

Lack of food + Stressed out Teenager = Incredibly Difficult Exam. 

To relieve some of the tension in the school this morning, my friend and I suited up in complete 80's aerobics wear and blasted some dance music. Not only did the crazy costumes attract students to the food table, but they also caused some giggling. Between the two of us we had sparkly safety orange head bands, two pairs of bright purple tights, teal body suits and some rad rasta fire sneakers. The atmosphere was incredibly lightened compared to  a typical exam morning. My friend and I were dancing while dishing up cheerios and milk, kids were shyly grooving as they moved towards the gym, and teachers were bopping as they passed our table. A real breakfast dance party to sneak in a bit of fun before taking a desk in the gym. 

Well... we had fun at least. Perhaps not everyone was as pumped as we were, but you have to admit it'd probably would make the exam seem a lot less scary when there are two eccentric girls wearing fluorescent outfits offering you cereal bars. Besides, spandex in the morning is great way to start your day!

Dance, even if you're by yourself,

Arctic Hipster

How the Contents of my Fridge Became Breakfast

Dear Sunday Sloths,

Some days it's nice to just cheat on making breakfast.

Here's a way to impress yourself: Eggs-a-la-Laziness. Enjoy.

Ingredients:

1Tbs butter
1/2 Onion, chopped
1/2 Pepper, chopped
Last Night's Baked Potatoes, chopped

5 Eggs
1/2 Cup Salsa
Pinch of Cinnamon and Cayenne

2 Green Onions, chopped
5 Cherry Tomatoes, cut in half
A handful of Cilantro, chopped

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

2. In a cast iron pan (or other pan you can put in the oven), melt butter and fry Onions and Peppers on medium high heat until translucent. Add chopped Baked Potatoes and cook until brown.

3. While potatoes are browning, whisk together Eggs, Salsa, Cinnamon and Cayenne in a mixing bowl. Pour mixture into the hot pan, allowing eggs to gel. DO NOT STIR!!! Sprinkle on Green Onions and place Cherry Tomatoes in mixture.

4. Bake in oven for 11 Minutes, until eggs are puffy. Let sit for two minutes, then garnish with cilantro. Cut and serve.

Feel free to add cheese or hot sauce, depending on your taste.

Bonne appetite mes amies!

Arctic Hipster

The Epic Gum Wars of '10

Dear bloggsters,
There has been conspirators afoot... and they live inside our disco Aztec.
Firstly, I must explain that our family has a strange taste in transportation. There is "The Gold Digger", our 2003 gold Aztec with a curvaceous behind and an expensive taste in car parts it needs to function. We use this one most often for show, as it is easily recognizable as "The Van with the Big Butt". Our second vehicle is a run down Chevrolet from the dinosaur age  (A.K.A. The eighties) that roars when it stars and especially when it dies. We've aptly named it "The Beast". 
Both our modes of transport are fairly emotional, but as if to ease the trip, my parents stock the little cubbies in the front with gum. There in lies the problem. 
When our family boards our vehicle in the morning, my younger brother takes one piece of gum, my father takes one, and on rare occasion I'll have some too. My mother is in the other car so she takes some from the gum package in there. Seems pretty innocent doesn't it? No sign of conflict... yet.
By the time my baby hipster brother is dropped off at middle school, the gum has magically disappeared! A strange occurrence since the gum we have comes in packs of twelve and there were only three of us sitting in The Beast. I choose to ignore it however and go off to school because I have exams soon and have more important things to think about. 
 The next morning when we get back into The Beast, the mystery of the missing chewing gum becomes top priority. Not that my relatives are gum addicts or anything like that, we just have a strong sense of fairness and equality. Therefore there is a battle when taking off with the only gum in the truck. I demand justice to be delivered with an iron fist in these circumstances. My brother however, employs his awkward preteen voice that my father identifies with and perhaps feels a bit of pity for because I'm usually denied the right to a fair trial. I usually insist upon the lack of empathy for his one and only daughter, who is simply trying to restore peace to The Beast. My father, being the wise crack that he is, likes to say "Makenzie, I am your father." in his best Darth Vader voice.
Unlike the male parental, I don't see the humour in this issue. The young hipster takes this cue as though he's off the hook, and a certain empty gum package miraculously appears from inside of a size twelve skinny jean pocket. Brothers, are the equivalent of mosquitoes. They make lots of buzz and commotion, provoke you, irritate you and then fly away too quickly for you to catch them and squish them. My brother did all of these things as he skipped off to Justin-Beiber-a-go-go school.
Therefore my mother and I have taken a liking to hiding gum, or sabotaging the mini conspirator by buying "Adult" gum. He doesn't like mint, but the rest of us do. Lately though, he's been finding our hiding spots and my mother keeps forgetting which gum she doesn't like, so we end up with mass amounts of Frutie To The Max This and Minty Extreme Explosion That.
Anyways, it adds a bit of flavour to our northern mornings. 


Chew responsibly,
Arctic Hipster