Monday, August 15, 2011

When "Going With The Flow" is Sign of Insanity

Dear Worst-Case-Scenario Minded Readers,

Have you ever felt that although everything seems to be going completely wrong, you can help but think it’s hilarious?

Perhaps it’s because a morbid sense of humor has been bred into me, and a lack of sleep has made me slightly mentally unstable, but I could not help but burst into random bouts of laughter today. I basically spent my weekend waitressing and entertaining friends until late at night, so I didn’t have very precise motor or social skills this morning. I arrived at work early, to a dark office complex and a locked door. On top of that, my mood was just as grey as the rain clouds hanging overhead. I did have my keys, that’s not the punch line of the series of unfortunate events that were my morning. Oh no, it was a much more subtle fumble that caused a serious case of the giggles. I had the ability to open the door...just not the mental capacity. That’s right, I was outwitted by an inanimate object. I stood outside in the pouring rain as my frozen fingers and dulled memory attempted to work together to undo the lock. I couldn’t recall which key opened the outside door, and the overcast sky made all three keys look slightly bronze (or was it gold?). I already have door issues (I can’t get into my house on a good day, I can’t get out of the bathroom on a bad day), so it took a good twenty minutes to get into the building.
I shook myself off and readjusted my bag and tried to regain a better sense of things. It was then that I realized my boss was not in our office, and the sliding glass door separating our offices from the other company in the complex was inevitably locked.
And I began to giggle. Despite my sopping wet hair, disregarding the chill that had set beneath my skin, I gave into the haplessness of the situation and laughed. My heart was light, and the rain had given me a strange feeling of being irrevocably aware of my youth. The rain dripped from my soaking hair and fell across my forehead, and still, I was chuckling to myself. D came in just as I had fiddled with the lock long enough to convince it to relinquish it’s grasp of the key and door. She smiled her big “Good Morning Smile” as her eyes read “Monday-Blues”. For some reason, she began to laugh too, and so the day started.
As I went about the business of logging onto our system, organizing my workspace, I must have bumped into a dozen different things. I knocked over a stapler, scattered some documents, tripped over my own computer chair all while trying to stifle giggles. Nothing compared to the photocopier incident though. As I went to finish scanning a project I had started on Friday, I managed to dead-leg myself on the side of the office beast. I doubled over in pain and remained crumpled on the floor, crippled by the pain but mostly from the unsupportable belly busting laughter that had consumed me. I had been able to control the hysterics for most of the morning, but it was as though this accident had released an inner laughing lunatic. I shook and shook as if in epileptic shock. There was no way to fight to remain sane, once again I submitted and was taken by a serious case of the giggles.
Now, you most certainly believe me to be crazy, but you must understand that the point of this account is to simply enlighten the load that Monday may bring. There is a choice bloggsters, that we must all make. To try to fight fate and become frustrated by things we cannot control, or to accept the situation and make the best of it as only we can.

May your Monday be filled with laughter,

Arctic Hipster