Anger is a hideous thing.
It poisons your mind, making you believe in strange ideals, causing your faith to falter. It clouds your judgement to the point where you can not control your actions. It can turn you into a monster. Rage makes people unrecognizable, even to themselves. It tears apart relationships, shatters friendships and cuts family ties.
Anger Kills.
If you have ever lost anyone, no matter how distant, you know the devastated feeling in the pit of your stomach that follows a death. You know the sickening taste in your mouth signaling a reality check. But, do you know the hit-by-a-freight train sensation that is suicide?
I never met them. I knew them only through word of mouth, but that didn't matter. The shock hit just as hard. Cause' people are like dominos, when one falls the rest are pushed.
And boy, can you feel the weight of everyone tumbling after. Even after they are gone we, the living, are affected.
To be honest I don't understand. Death is a concept I've had to get used to recently, yet the meaning still escapes me. How can a person truly be gone if we still feel the repercussions of their actions? How could they have "passed away"? A term used to ease the pain when really, it just makes death sound more twisted. As if we're acting as someone has merely gone on long holiday. But they are never coming back. Nor can anything this severe ever be reversed.
Anger hurts.
It killed them. Blinded them, maimed their sanity momentarily. Long enough to do the deed I guess. But anger didn't just hurt them. Anger hurt everyone.
But I can't help feeling the horrible emotion that ended an existence, as much as I despise it. I wallow in a bath of frustration. What would send them into such a fury? How could we not have known? Why couldn't we stop it?
Why was living not good enough? Why were we not good enough?
That's what gets me. No matter how hard I tried, even if I had known, I couldn't save them. We're all just helpless spectators when it comes to other people's decisions. You can't change anyone's mind but your own.
Oh, but you can try. And you can feel guilty about failing. You can be frustrated by the fact you can't stop someone's pain, end their suffering without them coming to an end as well.
My mom said to be careful, because people are breakable and life is fragile. Nothing lasts forever, no matter how we wish it would. She's right, and I wish I could accept that. Too bad my stubborn heart refuses to make sense.
Anger can be silent.
Please, if you have been hurt, or are hurting yourself, know that it doesn't do any good. That there are people who care for you and love you. You are important to someone. You are important to me. Frustration passes in time. Don't let an argument ruin your life. Don't give up hope in tomorrows, or the days that follow. There are endless possibilities if you hold onto your dreams. You are strong, we can and will make it through this together. I promise. Most of all, never surrender to the demon anger can become.
Because anger can be conquered,
Arctic Hipster
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Monday, September 7, 2009
Pneumonia is the word... among others
Dear Sickie Sympathiser,
Now it's important that we are all on the same page, be that web page or maybe just metaphorically, but I have been ill for months.
It started with a throat infection during an extraordinary band competition in May, grew exam week in June, dominated the fabulous road trip to the mountains with my best friend, prospered all the way past my birthday week until this very day. Before my doctor had taken the time to do a chest X-ray last Thursday, we had no idea what could be wrong. The blood work ruled out mono, anemia and the dreaded H1 N1 virus, but provided no relief. My doctor prescribed an inhaler for my cough, and mom made threats with chicken noodle soup. This year I was planing to join the cross country team and maybe try to be sporty despite my disabling klutzyness which had landed me in an ambulance a couple years previous. This year I thought it would be different.
Friday morning dashed those hopes with a ninja karate chop to the metaphorical groin. The maternal unit received a phone call from the doc diagnosing me with a worse-than-grounding fate. I have between a moderate and a severe case of pneumonia. That means antibiotics the size of horse pills three times a day and limited physical activity. In other words, no running.
Which is sort-of funny, because up to about two weeks ago I was still going for six km excursions in under thirty one minutes. That's about five point one minutes to a klick. I feel pretty good about that, considering my lungs are filled with fluid.
I've had it for months without knowing and have been lucky enough to relatively normally (with a bad cough, chills, head aches and inexplicably chest pains). My pharmacist aunt said the reason I was able to last this long without medical assistance was because of running and staying in physical shape. My friend Oliver, skied in the cold air of the north for such a long time, his throat and lungs became stronger and he no longer gets asthma attacks. But if you are sick, do not take your life into your own hands and run a marathon to beat your respiratory ailment. Know however, an illness is only a word. With the help of a medical practitioner, family and friend's support as well as determination, it won't break you. it may hold you back or delay you, but don't ever let it stop you.
Words are often open to interpretation, so our opinions may differ my gentle reader. In the spirit of vocabulary, here is an Arctic dictionary.
Arctic Hipster: noun
A person who actively practices hippie-like behavior in a north of sixty climate, be that through ideals, environmental awareness, enjoyment of psychedelic music, political opposition, freedom of speech, peaceful aura's, "making love not war", planting trees, food choices and just fighting the power so as not to lose that old fashion free spirit which defines Hippies everywhere.
Inspirational Explosion: Noun
The result of an inspirational happening, encounter, conversation or it might even just happen haphazardly. A burst of ideas free flowing to an individual in a disorganized, un-scheduled, often inconvenient and confusing way. Nevertheless, it can be moving and should be treated with a hot date with a pen and paper until the explosion subsides. Inspirational explosions end as quickly and randomly as they start. Therefore chronic sufferers should keep writing utensils at hand in case of emergencies.
Old towne: Noun and adjective
1. The part of our town that is closest to the boat launch, docks ext. Stereotypically home to very wholesome people who have lived on that side of our fair city for many generations and will probably continue to do so. We joke that in old towne rotate cutlery because it's such a limited amount of people, who often find themselves attending all the same events, belonging to the same clubs and living about the same virtuous lifestyle ie Eating lentils and rice while discussing the benefits of children having a say about politics.
Example : So on friday the Smiths have the spoons and all they eat is soup
My friend Emily does not appreciate this so much because she lives there. However we are a teasing bunch and she tolerates it like a team player. That's why we love her and the whole Old townie gang.
2. A title used for anything wholesome, ethical, homemade, ridiculously heathy, terribly good-for-you, or anyone mature and sensible.
Example: "You knitted your own socks?! How incredibly old towne!"
Mother in Greek: Meter, Dutch: Moeder ,German: Mutter and Latin: Mater
Peter Pan syndrome: Illness
A state where a person refuses or cannot grow up. They lack either the want to mature or the capacity to accept the natural order where people must change and mature in order to continue with their lives. Symptoms include temper tantrums, reckless spending and behavior, immature responses to responsibility ie: You and what army ?, refusing to accept events or facts that are unchangeable, believing all problems will be fixed by someone else, thinking that "Wendy" can just leave her whole life behind her without feeling any sort of attachment. Also has a positive side, people who suffer from Peter Pan syndrome often indulge in childlike luxuries such as afternoon naps, may have cookie addictions, may color to unwind as well as laugh often.
Example: "Stacy suffers from Peter Pan syndrome. She has been watching all the "Land Before Time" movies for the past twenty four hours. We're starting to worry."
Randomly Lovely: Noun and adjective
1. Used to describe something that is out of the ordinary, a pleasant surprise or an unexpectedly wonderful thing.
Example: It's pouring rain and you have been standing at an intersection waiting for the light to change for five minutes. You are soaked, but a stranger in a car rolls down their window and offers to drive beside you so you can cross with out being run over. You make it across and the kind stranger continues on their way.
2. A blog written by a teenager in hopes to start her career as an author about things that are just as the name suggests, randomly lovely.
To expanded vocabulary and determination,
Arctic Hipster
Now it's important that we are all on the same page, be that web page or maybe just metaphorically, but I have been ill for months.
It started with a throat infection during an extraordinary band competition in May, grew exam week in June, dominated the fabulous road trip to the mountains with my best friend, prospered all the way past my birthday week until this very day. Before my doctor had taken the time to do a chest X-ray last Thursday, we had no idea what could be wrong. The blood work ruled out mono, anemia and the dreaded H1 N1 virus, but provided no relief. My doctor prescribed an inhaler for my cough, and mom made threats with chicken noodle soup. This year I was planing to join the cross country team and maybe try to be sporty despite my disabling klutzyness which had landed me in an ambulance a couple years previous. This year I thought it would be different.
Friday morning dashed those hopes with a ninja karate chop to the metaphorical groin. The maternal unit received a phone call from the doc diagnosing me with a worse-than-grounding fate. I have between a moderate and a severe case of pneumonia. That means antibiotics the size of horse pills three times a day and limited physical activity. In other words, no running.
Which is sort-of funny, because up to about two weeks ago I was still going for six km excursions in under thirty one minutes. That's about five point one minutes to a klick. I feel pretty good about that, considering my lungs are filled with fluid.
I've had it for months without knowing and have been lucky enough to relatively normally (with a bad cough, chills, head aches and inexplicably chest pains). My pharmacist aunt said the reason I was able to last this long without medical assistance was because of running and staying in physical shape. My friend Oliver, skied in the cold air of the north for such a long time, his throat and lungs became stronger and he no longer gets asthma attacks. But if you are sick, do not take your life into your own hands and run a marathon to beat your respiratory ailment. Know however, an illness is only a word. With the help of a medical practitioner, family and friend's support as well as determination, it won't break you. it may hold you back or delay you, but don't ever let it stop you.
Words are often open to interpretation, so our opinions may differ my gentle reader. In the spirit of vocabulary, here is an Arctic dictionary.
Arctic Hipster: noun
A person who actively practices hippie-like behavior in a north of sixty climate, be that through ideals, environmental awareness, enjoyment of psychedelic music, political opposition, freedom of speech, peaceful aura's, "making love not war", planting trees, food choices and just fighting the power so as not to lose that old fashion free spirit which defines Hippies everywhere.
Inspirational Explosion: Noun
The result of an inspirational happening, encounter, conversation or it might even just happen haphazardly. A burst of ideas free flowing to an individual in a disorganized, un-scheduled, often inconvenient and confusing way. Nevertheless, it can be moving and should be treated with a hot date with a pen and paper until the explosion subsides. Inspirational explosions end as quickly and randomly as they start. Therefore chronic sufferers should keep writing utensils at hand in case of emergencies.
Old towne: Noun and adjective
1. The part of our town that is closest to the boat launch, docks ext. Stereotypically home to very wholesome people who have lived on that side of our fair city for many generations and will probably continue to do so. We joke that in old towne rotate cutlery because it's such a limited amount of people, who often find themselves attending all the same events, belonging to the same clubs and living about the same virtuous lifestyle ie Eating lentils and rice while discussing the benefits of children having a say about politics.
Example : So on friday the Smiths have the spoons and all they eat is soup
My friend Emily does not appreciate this so much because she lives there. However we are a teasing bunch and she tolerates it like a team player. That's why we love her and the whole Old townie gang.
2. A title used for anything wholesome, ethical, homemade, ridiculously heathy, terribly good-for-you, or anyone mature and sensible.
Example: "You knitted your own socks?! How incredibly old towne!"
Parental Units: Noun
A term used to describe parents. Most mothers and fathers do not appreciate this term however (Why is beyond me) and prefer to be called mother and father.
Synonym: Vadder, Mum, Dad, Mom, Pops, "Da boss lady", Maternal unit, Paternal Unit, female parent , materfamilias , matriarch, mom , mommy , ma , mama, pa, Male parent, xy chromosome, xx chromosome, the bearer of children, Your maker, Parentals
Example: "Yeah, the parental units grounded me this weekend."
Peter Pan syndrome: Illness
A state where a person refuses or cannot grow up. They lack either the want to mature or the capacity to accept the natural order where people must change and mature in order to continue with their lives. Symptoms include temper tantrums, reckless spending and behavior, immature responses to responsibility ie: You and what army ?, refusing to accept events or facts that are unchangeable, believing all problems will be fixed by someone else, thinking that "Wendy" can just leave her whole life behind her without feeling any sort of attachment. Also has a positive side, people who suffer from Peter Pan syndrome often indulge in childlike luxuries such as afternoon naps, may have cookie addictions, may color to unwind as well as laugh often.
Example: "Stacy suffers from Peter Pan syndrome. She has been watching all the "Land Before Time" movies for the past twenty four hours. We're starting to worry."
Randomly Lovely: Noun and adjective
1. Used to describe something that is out of the ordinary, a pleasant surprise or an unexpectedly wonderful thing.
Example: It's pouring rain and you have been standing at an intersection waiting for the light to change for five minutes. You are soaked, but a stranger in a car rolls down their window and offers to drive beside you so you can cross with out being run over. You make it across and the kind stranger continues on their way.
2. A blog written by a teenager in hopes to start her career as an author about things that are just as the name suggests, randomly lovely.
To expanded vocabulary and determination,
Arctic Hipster
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