Last night I wrote a response to an acquaintance's poem about my friend.
Two years ago a close friend of mine (who's nickname is that of an ancient city's), was subjected to a wannabe intellectual's affections. Not only did he rip her heart out, he posted various verses- fumbled and mostly written using inaccurate chemistry metaphors- about her over Facebook. Classy right? Of course I'm probably hypocritical because I'm ranting into the blogshpere, but thought it important make a witty retort. To be honest, she just laughs about the episode now and began snorting with laughter when I brought this to her attention. After all, he tried comparing her to an electron. Enjoy.
In Memory of an Adolescent Chemist
An oracle compacted into 35 Mega Bytes
Lights up an unsuspecting Muse's
Distorted grin:
The truth of a common disease contacted the masses
Through a Modern-Day-Miracle.
The only symptoms? Infectious laughter,
Swollen, weepy eyes
And russet cheeks that glimmer with fresh, joyful tears.
The Adolescent Chemist has made a discovery
Explored the perilous depths of teenage biology.
For years he has been
Proclaiming unmatched successes
Aided by the Modern-Day-Miracle.
This moment he has deconstructed
A fifteen-year-old-girl's heart,
Rummaging in it's contents and reducing
The Life to protons and electrons
Arranging these pieces in fumbled
Sci-Artful verse.
He is caught under the impression
That this muse is blinded by electronic
Fluorescent lights.
Miracles happen to those who believe in them.
As the non-chalant, over confident
Perpetually condescending
Chemist, decodes her ever changing Hormones, in clumsy language,
The Muse gingerly shuts off her laptop,
Moves past the marvels of innovation
To look out the window.
A mysterious smile plays on her lips,
As she thinks to herself, as it should be,
"He only ever wanted me for my pheromones".
Much love,
arctic hipster
