Sunshine Spray

Dear Procrastinators and "Night-Before-Essay-Artists",

Monday just happens to be the perfect day to avoid all forms of work.

The air is frigid, my head is heavy with sleep and thoughts of endless to-do lists. It's February, a month supposedly filled with romance and mutual warmth, but which is more so marked by report cards and diploma results. Truly, I should be working on my sentence structure and balancing chemistry equations. The two subjects seem to be combining though, as asyndeton sounds like a molecular structure ("the omission of conjunctions that ordinarily join coordinate words and phrases" source: Terms for Advanced Placement English Exams), and the rules regarding the combination of pure elements resembles those surrounding syntax.

If you've managed to read those last sentences without yawning, your energy should be bottled and distributed among the general public. What an idea! We could call it "Sunshine Spray", a product that increases serotonin levels in the brain therefore better mood. It could be used like hair spray, absorbing into the hair follicles straight to the scalp and into the cranium. Because it would be a hormone, it'd have to go to the medulla before being distributed throughout the body.

Can you tell I'm tired?


Hope you find your own "Sunshine" today,

arctic hipster