Long Exposure Photography Gone Wild

Dear Crazy Cat Ladies (and Gentlemen),

Today, we can rejoice.

After spending a couple classes being incredibly productive Red and I have created this lovely long exposure image:

Why yes, we did in fact spell "CAT" using flashlights as well as a laser pointer.  Although you may be fooled into thinking this is a merely a waste of time, I assure you this masterpiece will reshape the general public perception of felines around the world. Basically Red and I just really like cats. They are finicky and bossy and all around grumpy, which makes them kind of hilarious. Where dogs are trained to serve and seek fulfilment through the satisfaction of their owners, cats have their own agendas and develop complicated personalities. Besides, cats are very similar to hipsters.

Recent events have only reinforced the idea that living alone with several cats is probably more satisfying than ever getting married, especially because I'm becoming an incredibly invested feminist. However, this does not detract from my dream to wreck a wedding dress and take wicked pictures. But I suppose that can be done without the hassle of finding a husband.                                                         Perhaps Red and I will be crazy cat ladies together, after all she seems to be pretty excited about it.

Meow,

arctic hipster

"We Teach Life, Sir"

Dear Politically Driven Artists,

Last night this woman changed the way I see art.

Rafeef Ziadah is "an Arab woman of color" who's poetry puts Keats to shame. Yesterday at rehearsal the cast began bantering back and forth about different political issues, mainly about political videos. Basically we're all incredibly opinionated about the way Canada is run and all happen to regularly research global happenings, so when I-man brought out her lap top and offered to show us a short video she thought was interesting, nothing was out of the ordinary. However, when we had finished watching Rafeef Ziadah pour out her heart and brandish her anger like an Arabian curved sword, it was possible to hear a pin drop in the rehearsal space.

It's nearly impossible to fully understand the conflict between Israel and Palestine, but listening to her for a moment sure makes you want to protest. Poetry is an emotionally charged medium to get a message across without wasting a single word, making it an incredibly effective way to get a message across. Rafeef is a Palestinian Refugee who harnesses her anger through poetry, an admirable feat considering English is not her first language. As she admits herself during a performance in Toronto, "When we Palestinians get really tired we pronounce our "P"s like our "B"s, and we become Balestinians". Her accent does not hinder the power of her words though, as she also speaks in Arabic on Hadeel, her debut poetry album.

Refeef's passion was what really hit me. As we sat in silence awestruck by this stranger on the computer screen, all I could think of was "that's what art is suppose to do, that's why we have art".

This angry poet's performances can be found on YouTube, but I highly encourage you to by her album.

In the words of Refeef, "We Teach Life, Sir" through art.

arctic hipster

We laughed. We Sang. We Recorded.

Dear Avid Artists,

Today I've become a recorded sensation!

Obviously I'm exaggerating, but there was a need to add some enthusiastic punctuation into this post and well, that statement basically wrote itself. However, there is some truth to it. Arctic Asian (I know that as you read this you'll probably double over from laughter, so it is in no shape of form meant to be a racist joke), who happens to be a multi talented musician, was unlucky enough to be strumming her guitar in the hallways when I was walking to class about half a year ago. She was singing "Swing Life Away" in a style that was so honest, so incredibly heart felt, that I stopped dead in my tracks. She laughed at me, and that's how we became friends.

Back to becoming the next Justin Beibs though. What possessed us to start this project is beyond me, but we are creating a Film Fest video with Red (another crazy talented accomplice, who probably has more sense that A.A. and I combined), which will include an original sound track. Note that the usage of "Original" is somewhat loose, because we are in fact doing a cover of "Skinny Love" by Bon Iver and Birdy. Our interpretation in definitely unique though; we are using a program on Red's Mac book to layer our voices, an acoustic guitar and a piano. We finally began recording the raw material today after many weeks of rehearsing, which was terrifying. The expression "Liking the sound of your own voice" is false, at least for me. Basically Red won't allow us to listen to the raw material or we'd spend days re-recording in the hopes of achieving perfection.

I'll post the finished product in a couple weeks.

Stay Tuned!

Arctic Hipster

The Dog In The Wig

Dear Suckers for Sob Stories,


This afternoon you're in luck.


It's about time for some motivation posting, considering the last couple—although illuminating important issues, providing emotional release etc.— have been incredible downers. I don't try to be a party pooper, really, just sometimes I have random bouts of profound reflexion and thus feel an unconditional need to share them with the general public. 


Anyways back to why you're lucky!  When you imagine "Sob Stories" you probably have a mental picture of that scene from the Notebook where that really sweet, sensitive, completely misunderstood guy kisses What's-Her-Face and they are drenched in rain which is a metaphor for their drowning in emotions, but really a storm of emotions, and you are crying because it's so beautiful and for some reason her hair is perfect and you kinda want to kick What's-Her-Face in the face because of that, especially because your face is blotchy but also because she's kinda stupid for taking him for granted, then again it might be  because you sort of are in love with the soaking What's-His-Name.... you get where I'm going with this?

When I think Sob Story though, I imagine crying from laughter. You know that gut busting, red faced, wheezing from lack of air laughter? Yeah, that's what's about to go down so mentally prepare yourself to die from laughter. 

Look at this Panda! He is having a bad day. Next time you're having a bad day visualize this incredibly sad Mr. Panda, simply attempting to slide, then BAM! Sad day for him, laughter for us. 

 See this person helplessly floundering in the deep snow? Notice that her leg is still resting on the fence, while her arms are flailing. However, what truly marks this picture is the fact that the photographer is leaning over the fence to capture the moment, not to assist thevictim.  

AHAHAHAHA! You know who this dog looks like? A George Harrison from the Beatles. Or perhaps a news reporter, or a pilot from the 70s... oh the possibilities are endless. However, this picture will forever be hilarious, no matter the era. Oh Dog In The Wig, you have brought me endless happiness.
"Poor hopeless sucker struggling in the snow, say cheese!"   

We can only imagine what must have taken place once she was liberated from the frozen sand trap. Heh he.                                                                                                

"Happiness hit her like train on a track....
        Oh the Dog Days are over...."


Love arctic hipster
       

Because Shit is Empowering

Warning: This post contains profanities (used with creative license of course), for effect and are not intended to offend. 

Dear Exhausted, Fed-Up, Tired, Internet Junkie,


Do you ever get to that point when you're so utterly overwhelmed by emotions, whether it's anger or compassion or grief, that you no longer feel the ability to voice them?


I'm taking part in this year's V-Day North production of the Vagina Monologues and seem to be experiencing a hell of a lot of those types of moments. The subject matter right off the bat hits heart: The production is aimed at breaking the silence surrounding rape, battery and violence against women. Every monologue illuminates an injustice and a struggle, great or small, that affects a multitude of people, not just women. One in particular that comes to mind involves a brother trying to protect his sister from dishonoring her family (ie: sleeping with her lover before marriage), providing a social commentary on the honor killings that frequently take place in Eastern countries such as India. The murders are an attempt to eliminate the "shame" that an unchaste daughter would bring upon her family name, but most cases involve rape victims. In Canada, we've seen cases such as the Shafia family come to justice, but this is not the case in the rest of the world.


It is difficult to process one monologue by itself—the pain, the triumph, the social implications—but listening to 18 others can break your heart. However, the heaviness of the context is contrasted by the liveliness of the cast. To be honest I was completely caught off guard when the cast began talking about how vaginas are actually shaped like Penne and vulvas were shaped like shell pasta (while eating shell pasta). Not that I come from a conservative home, but conversations about gentitels don't generally happen on a regular basis. And then the SWEARING. It's funny though,  I felt so ashamed and uncomfortable, as though I had done something wrong even though I was not the one who was yelling "fuck" or "Clitoris". 


Then I let go. I stopped associating the words with negative feelings, with negative meanings. Why not be proud? Why let words reduce me, belittle me, own me? I'm a writer after all and should know the power associated with words. 


This afternoon I came home, feeling deeply saddened after rehearsal.


So I swore and I swore and I swore and I swore.

arctic hipster

Sunshine Spray

Dear Procrastinators and "Night-Before-Essay-Artists",

Monday just happens to be the perfect day to avoid all forms of work.

The air is frigid, my head is heavy with sleep and thoughts of endless to-do lists. It's February, a month supposedly filled with romance and mutual warmth, but which is more so marked by report cards and diploma results. Truly, I should be working on my sentence structure and balancing chemistry equations. The two subjects seem to be combining though, as asyndeton sounds like a molecular structure ("the omission of conjunctions that ordinarily join coordinate words and phrases" source: Terms for Advanced Placement English Exams), and the rules regarding the combination of pure elements resembles those surrounding syntax.

If you've managed to read those last sentences without yawning, your energy should be bottled and distributed among the general public. What an idea! We could call it "Sunshine Spray", a product that increases serotonin levels in the brain therefore better mood. It could be used like hair spray, absorbing into the hair follicles straight to the scalp and into the cranium. Because it would be a hormone, it'd have to go to the medulla before being distributed throughout the body.

Can you tell I'm tired?


Hope you find your own "Sunshine" today,

arctic hipster

Stealing the Fame: Lady Gaga in a Parka

Dear International Readers,

I may possibly be famous in your country.

Every year for the past five years the Funky Fairies have been helping to win the fight against cancer. We host bake sales, go door to door and look for other creative ways to raise money for the Relay for Life. Our total was $13,000 last year, with a grand total of $34,000 since 2008. Every member of our team has been affected by cancer in some way, but last year we took the cause even closer to our hearts. One of our friends and team member, a fifteen year old, had been diagnosed with throat cancer.

Not only was she forced to move in order to receive treatment, she would not be able to attend the Relay for Life. It is incredibly difficult to imagine the hardships she had to endure, especially so far away from the support of her friends. But she triumphed,recovered and celebrated: In a year she was cancer free.

Our entire team was disappointed to not have our friend with us, but felt in our hearts the importance of the Relay. She motivated us to double our fundraising goal.

The afternoon before the Relay our team was interviewed. We were asked why we participated, and half way through a teary eyed answer about our recovering friend she walked out from behind the news van.

The result? Sobbing, screaming teenage girls appearing on an episode of "Ice Pilots". The volunteers from the Relay helped bring up our friend and the producers of the hit show flew up her parents. Needless to say we were eternally grateful.

Therefore, the Funky Fairies are famous in foreign countries.

Basically, I'm like Lady Gaga but in a Parka.

Born This Way,

arctic hipster

P.s. Very much appreciating all the page views from Russia!